About two years ago my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and what I'm about to write here may seem odd. I know this is a terrible disease, but for me it has been a blessing.
My dad was a verbally abusive man who obviously did not want children, From the time I was around five years old I knew...that I would never be like him.
I spent almost 47 years of my life putting up with his insults, bullying and control. Finally, the day came where I realized that I couldn't take it one more day. I sat down on my bathroom floor and cried. I cried out to God in intense pain saying, "He's always so mean to me! I can't take this anymore! I give up, God! I surrender!"
A few weeks went by and I began to receive phone calls from people that had known my dad for years telling me about his recent strange behavior. He was visiting his bank numerous times a day for exactly the same thing. A long time dentist was concerned about the way he was forgetting. He had paid his monthly rent three times. At first I wasn't sure what I should to do. When I asked my dad questions he wouldn't answer.
Some time went by before I was able to get a diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease, but when I did I felt such a great sadness. He'd never taken the time to get to know me. He'd never taken the opportunity to tell me that he was sorry.
As I was packing up dad's belongings to move him into a home I came across notes on pictures and papers. There were photos of me with the words he'd written, "My beautiful, lovely daughter, I love my daughter so much." Next to my phone number it said, "I'm so proud she's my daughter."
I now sit and watch the man who use to be my dad and realize for the first time in his life, he is happy. He smiles and laughs and sings. He is no longer able to control. He no longer remembers to be mean. Alzheimer's stole my dad's memory, but gave a gift to me.
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